


Sun and Moon

by tiaemilda



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-03
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-07-24 11:30:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16174181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiaemilda/pseuds/tiaemilda
Summary: Jeno and Jaemin were two peas in a pod.Best friends since birth, Jeno is his moon while Jeno called Jaemin his sun.What happens when the moon slowly stopped orbiting around the sun?





	Sun and Moon

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first work on A03. It was supposed to be a one-shot but I felt like it was too long so I decided to split it into chapters. It won't be a long fic though! Probably two more chapters would be added before it is completed. I'm not good at writing so I hope this does not suck as much as I think it is but I just could not help to write it down when the idea struck on me. Oh before you read this do note that there might be a slight trigger in the fic but it is very mild! I will write down the trigger warning in the note so you guys will be informed before reading the chapter.
> 
> TW: Panic attack (very very mild)

For as long as Jaemin could remember, Jeno has always been in his life.

They were two peas in a pod. Donghyuck would jokingly say that they were stuck to each other hips since wherever Jaemin goes, Jeno will be there. Jeno is his best friend but he also knew that Jeno was in love with him since he did directly confess his love in their first year of high school. Jaemin however, rejected his love confession because he did not love Jeno. At least not in the way Jeno wanted him to. So they remained the best of friends because Jeno hoped that their relationship would not change over the revelation of his feelings. 

What Jaemin would not admit to himself was that he was very much in love with Lee Jeno. Donghyuck would say he is in denial of his own feelings which is very near the truth. He locked his feelings away in a place so unreachable because he knew he did not deserve someone like Jeno. Jeno is the sweetest, most thoughtful boy alive. He has always tended to Jaemin's needs. Jaemin could not be with Jeno. Not in that way at least. Not when he is reminded every single day by his own mother how worthless he was as a human being and how he does not deserve to be loved. 

Everything changed when Renjun came into the picture in their second year of highschool. He had just migrated to Korea from China and had easily integrated himself in Jaemin's close knitted group of friends. Jaemin loves Renjun as a friend. Renjun is beautiful, talented and extremely caring of the people around him even though he might have a sharp tongue at times but that's not something new when they already have someone like Donghyuck. Thus, it was not so much of a surprise when Jaemin catches Jeno in a daze, eyes wandering to Renjun when he was not looking, too busy bickering with Donghyuck. It was not a surprise to Jaemin either when Jeno finally confessed that he was in love with Renjun six months later when they were hanging out, cuddling on the bed. Just the two of them, like always. 

What Jaemin did not expect was, how he felt his world shatter when he heard those declaration of love Jeno had for Renjun. He had knew all along but hearing those words outloud made everything more real. That Jaemin is no longer the bearer of Jeno's heart anymore when Jeno has always been his. Jaemin forced himself to shrug off the nasty thoughts and convinced himself that it was for the better because Jeno is better with someone who is much more deserving of his love. Not someone as incapable and useless as Jaemin. So, Jaemin looked up from where he was hiding in the crook of Jeno's neck to see Jeno already staring at him, anxiously waiting for his response. Thus, Jaemin mustered up the brightest smile and teased Jeno on his newfound love for Renjun, heart shattering as he saw the blush on Jeno's cheeks. He just hoped that Jeno did not notice the tremble in his voice and the shaking of his hands.

Jeno and Jaemin are still the best of friends. However, now Jeno does not walk home every single day with Jaemin because he goes on dates with Renjun. Jaemin pretends that he does not notice Donghyuck's inquiring gaze on him when they are sitting together during lunch when Jeno and Renjun's hands link together. Jaemin did not know whether he should be relieved that he managed to dodge Donghyuck before he started questioning Jaemin about his feelings due to the vibration of his phone, indicating that someone is calling him or worried because it is his mother that is calling. Jaemin quietly excused himself from the table, not noticing Jeno's gaze on him.

The call with his mother ended horribly, as always. Jaemin had expected it but that did not mean it hurt any less. He was breathing heavily, body shaking and he felt like his lungs were constricted, blocking his airway. Jaemin knew he was about to have a panic attack if he did not calm himself down fast enough. The talk had been about his grades, how he was not meeting up to his mother's expectations even with him being on the honor roll. With a cold voice, his mother had uttered, "You are not even able to keep your grades in check, how are you even going to be perfect enough for someone to love you. Useless. You will never be loved." That was her last words before she hung up on him. He exhaled a shaky breath, leaning on the wall soaking in her words. He will never be enough.

Jaemin had managed to compose himself before he entered class where the others were already there seated, waiting for him. He brushed off Donghyuck's concerned gaze and replied to Jeno that he was okay when he had asked where Jaemin had disappeared to for the last half an hour of their lunch. He knew they were not convinced with his explanation but was glad that they decided to let it go when their homeroom teacher entered the class. If he could, Jaemin never wanted them to know about the things that are going on with his family. He did not want to be more of a burden to them than he already was. 

After class, Donghyuck had managed to convince Jaemin to come over to his place for a study session since Jeno and Renjun went on a date and Mark, Donghyuck's boyfriend, was busy with his student council activities. Jaemin had listened and occasionally laughed at Donghyuck moaning and whining about Mark, saying that he prefers the student council as compared to hanging out with his own boyfriend while they made their way to Donghyuck's house. He did not tease Donghyuck much on it, knowing that the said boy was just trying to keep his mind off the fact that Jeno was out, spending time with Renjun. Jaemin was grateful for Donghyuck's presence since it allowed him to avoid wallowing in his own misery. 

They were immersed in their individual work when Donghyuck had brought up the topic of Jeno. Jaemin sighed, knowing that he should just avoid telling Donghyuck since it is pretty obvious the boy already knows Jaemin's inner conflict.

“I like Jeno, Hyuckie. No, scratch that. I've been in love with him for god knows how long.” Jaemin breaths shakily as he confessed the secret he has kept for so long to himself to Donghyuck.  
“I know, Nana. What I don't get is why you did not confess your feelings to him when you knew of the feelings he harbored for you.” Donghyuck mutters looking utterly confused.  
“It's for the better Duckie, I don't deserve someone like him.”  
I'm not enough, Jaemin thinks.  
“Besides, he has Injun now. How could I ever compare to someone as amazing as Renjun.” Jaemin bitterly chuckles.  
“Nana, you have to tell Jeno. Even if he no longer reciprocate the feelings, he should at least know.”  
Jaemin shakes his head adamantly. “He is happy now, Hyuckie, I’m not going to break that.”

Jaemin did not realise he was crying until Donghyuck brought him in for a hug, comforting words leaving his mouth. And thus, Jaemin lets go. He wails at the thought that Jeno is no longer in love with him, at his own worthlessness, at his mother’s hurtful words. Sobs wrecking his whole body. He must have been super exhausted, as he fall asleep, dreaming of what his life could have been if it was slightly different than his current situation.


End file.
